ahoy.♣
Sunday, August 23, 2009 / 1:14 AM
Song(s) Of The Day :: Yellowcard - Everywhere
Utada Hikaru - Apple && Cinnamon
Utada Hikaru - First Love
Britney Spears - Everytime (:L)
Current Media :: Windows Media Centre - Tv ; Good News Week [Repeat]
Current Mood(s) :: Scared T_________T (thanks boys, once again). Happy. Peaceful. Really freaking tired. A little too thinkative. Yeah (Y). Neutral mood I guess.
Ahh, today went well ^___________^! Woke up, got ready + ate breakfast. Went to maths school~ where we did no work whatsoever :) Just sat there.. Ahahaha I made people donate to me for 40 hour famine =P! ^^ Uhhmmms.. then I went to Viet school :) We had oral tests apparently, and I did pretty well (Y)! ^^ .. at recess, instead of doing extra studying, I called Kevin :L. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! OMG! Catherine fell flat on the ground, off the bench. Okay that's mean to laugh, T___T! But gosh darn, if you were there, you'd be laughing too! I did ask her if she was okay thoughh.Anywho's, afterschool, I went to Steve's house to find out it was fucking cancelled D:! .. ): So we made negotiations and went to Andy's place instead xD! Awesomeness~ 8D ^^Ahahaha, we got there + Samuel came soon after :) Then we sat around watching.. /sigh.. Lawnbowling. Oh yes, how intense it was. -__- Jamjams, kitty, you two are idiots. Such idiots. But I love youu twoo :]] But sometimes, gosh. :L. Looooooooool. Me + Andy sat there talking a while, while the other two were spazzing over lawnbowls. ==' AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! We went outside, and omgsh they're so hardcore. :L! They threw lemons at peoples houses. :LThen Kenji came ~~ and all I remember is, we took a walk (: LOOOOOOOOOOOL! It was fun :) & being active ! ^^ OMG HAHA, when I walked into Andy's property again, I KNEW there was something wrong. I could tell they were hiding as well :L ^^ LOLOLOL! Samuel jumped out from behind the bushes, and it was like LOL! Cause he fell over :L! Heheh xDUhhh~ then we came back, and lounged around for a bit (: Then the boys were playing GTA (Y). Iono why.. but I felt really tired today :L & I wanted to watch tv, so I went upstairs (Y). Man.. T_____________T The boys now have this obsession with scaring the frick out of me ): ..Mm.. then Andy made me come back downstairs.. so I went. FRICK SAKES MAN. NO FOOOD ): Ahaha.. we had to share 3 packets of Mi Goreng between the 5 of us.. I was so hungry I didn't wait for chop sticks, I just ate like any good dog would (Y). So did Steve. :L. HAHAH, we awesome (H)(L). Uhh.. Andy made chicken nuggets as well.. but that was done AFTER 8PM, so I had to start my 4O hour famine late ):Ahahah then once 9PM approached, it was silence.. :L Ahaha I got really tired.. & I wanted to sleep.. So I went to sleep there. well tried to. :L, I went upstairs to watch tv + rest (Y). But FUCKING HELL MANN. Andy + Samuel scaring the FRICK out of me. ): eugh. I'll recount this in some other blog about why I hate + love the boys. :L.. but yeahs. ZOMFGGG. Not being able to talk, scream out for help.. was so scary =S The next half an hour - hour was spent changing from upstairs to downstairs. I stayed upstairs because the boys were playing Soul Calibur (Y). ^______^ Every now & again kitty would come up to play (: .. they didn't last long. But ^__^. Tickle war >:] hehehes. mmm ;)Then ahaha, everyone came up & we watched Identity (Y). Went back down for something.. I forgot.. but then me, Steve + Samuel stayed downstairs, and Andy and Kenji were scaring the SHIT out of us. Like, we knew it was them, but still, what if it wasn't!? T__T AHAHAHHAHA, I think Samuel was more scared than I was :L! It was so funny watching him x).. Although I don't think kitty was scared at all ): So braveeeee! :L!Uhhh, then we went back up stairs (Y). And watched tv (: .. then Kenji left ): .. and we stayed down stairs. :L Ahahaha we watched um.. Identity, The Ring + Jeepers Creepers. Man, Jeepers Creepers... the song/poem scares me so much! The Ring was psychologically scary, just how I like them ;D! And Identity just got everyone thinking again. It's a really good movie though! I wanna watch it again x)Lmfao & yes, the night ended with brother dear driving us all home, and telling my mother about me not talking 8D. Umm.. ohh! & I went online to talk to Paul (: Cause I promised him I'd come online no matter how late it was, and he'd wait no matter how long it took x).Mm.. today shows, you don't need the perfect plan, you just need the right people :). Today.. today I realised something. I'm holding back, a lot. Holding back everything I want to do when I'm with you. Holding back everything we used to do. I know why, & I know you do as well. I know it's for the better, for the future. Just sometimes I wish.. we could forget about it all.. and go back to what we used to be, the things we used to do, and the time we spent together. They are fair high up on my favourite memories.I had a talk to my friend, about us. & this person suggested, you're doing these things sometimes, because you feel guilty when you're not with me, because I need you so much. If this is true then.. please don't feel this way. I want you to do whatever you want to do, without considering my feelings the slightest bit. Sure, it probably will hurt me, but seeing you smile will probably motivate me so stand back up and continue. I don't want you to feel bad.. or hate yourself.. because of me. Please..Oh.. what else has been on my mind constantly, lately? My 'best friend'. I went through chat logs.. I realised we grew distant when I started to socialise and go out more.. In a particular convo we discussed changes in people. You & I agreed, everyone is nicer at the beginning.. and soon show their true colours and decide who it is they'd rather be friends with. The person you meet in the beginning is trying to impress you & gain your friendship. 'First impressions'. You asked if I had changed, in my own opinion. I said yes, and I know who I was then, I know who I am now, and I don't really care. I change, and so does everyone else. I'm not going to revert back to some other 'me' of the past because that's who YOU liked. Then again.. I thought you'd accept me no matter who I was, or am. I say this but wonder who I really am now, and wonder who I really was. What has actually changed? And why? I couldn't find any solid answers but I realised, ' People change, for better or worse, we all do. ' We haven't talked in a while now .. Not properly. I do put in the effort.. but I don't seem to be getting any in return. It seems like I'm the only one who wishes to patchup this friendship. But I'm sick, and tired. You don't tell me what's wrong, when it obviously is. You don't let me help you. We don't see things the same anymore. We don't laugh like we used to. Everytime I can't stand the silence anymore, I take the initiative, only to be returned with short, cold replies. I'm heartbroken by the thought of you, really.jeepers creepers,
where'd you get those peepers..
