rolling dice
now i'm jumping on the questions again, losing all my senses again - i'm a rolling dice and i don't think twice, i gave my heart away
♠ ♥ ♣ ♦


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I can't bear to stay.. but neither can I find the willpower to leave.♣
Saturday, August 1, 2009 / 10:05 PM

Mmk dokay. So today was a complete rollercoaster ride. Something would go right.. and then something would go wrong, repeatedly. I went to maths school & had fun, then wagged and got caught. Viet school was okay and didn't get in much trouble, and present giving was a success :), also met family, then made a big mistake & it was depresso half an hour or so.. then things went uphill for a bit (:

Okay so you asked, 'Why did we do that?'
Well, yes, I still like you.. so there's no question there why I did. But .. I don't get how you do these things & tell me you don't like me =/ Cause you sure act like it sometimes.. /sigh.

I really should have just left.. instead of sticking around.. but I really don't know what I would do without you. Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes. I was crying because, I was trying to think of ways to solve this.. but I couldn't find one thing where we could still be together. And I didn't want to tell you cause.. well.. what if you thought one of those ideas was good & that I should leave and we should be apart.. & in my frustration tears started streaming down my face.. Causing you to also become frustrated & tear up.. I'm really sorry. I mean.. it's normal for me to cry over anything.. but to see you cry and .. knowing it was because of me .. I'm really, really, really, really, really, really sorry for this. I was scared of hurting you physically and emotionally, and I managed to do both today. I'm such a failure.

Mm.. so.. if you ever think I should leave.. then please tell me so. I'll do whatever it takes, as long as you are happy in the end. I've told you countless times, to do whatever you want to do and not care/think about how I will be feeling.