i really need you right now.. =/♣
Sunday, August 2, 2009 / 10:38 PM
& i don't know where you are right now. all i know is that i really need you to calm me down --''freaking hell, why can't i talk to you about ANYTHING, without us getting into an arguement? the only time we CAN argue is if it's about how much i love you, or in what way i love you, or if it's about how much me trust eachother. that's it. mention anything else, and you tell me i'm dumb for thinking that way. then you lecture, &lecture, &lecture me over&over&over again. do i really mean anything at all to you? to others i am that little, cute-wannabe, emo, tb, depressed, freaky, weird, loud, annoying girl. is that all i am to you as well? i thought you knew me better than that. & when i tell you what i think, you tell me i'm stupid for thinking like that. then you tell me i don't trust you or anything. yes, i don't trust you. & that's why whenever something happens i come running to you and telling you what's wrong. and then we just start to argue. &it always, always leads to this. you don't trust me. i know you don't. but you keep telling me you do. then tell me why i don't know anything about you? tell me why you keep lying to me and bitching about me to others whom you know i'm not fond of? i always find out about it in the end, & ask you about it. you always deny the fact that you did it, & claim you'd never do anything like that. you say you trust me & i know you more than most. but how? you never tell me what's wrong, when there is something wrong.i don't know anymore. i don't even know what i'm saying. what the fuck.right now, i feel so alone --'' there's really .. seriously .. no one i can talk to anymore. like yeah, there's tonnes of people i can talk to, but none of them are close. it's all just random chitchat. my bestfriend, doesn't even seem like my best friend anymore. we don't even talk about anything anymore. you're just so busy with others & your boyfriend that i'm left standing alone & fighting all my troubles by myself. are you really still there for me, like you said you would be?my little brother? he dislikes the guy i like, so i can't talk to him about shet. we barely talk now..my other male best friend? he is.. so.. self centred sometimes. and we can't really talk about anything without getting into an argument. we're just too different. he's got so many other friends, that he barely has time for me.. & he doesn't understand why i think too much, and worry about others.my other friends? they're too busy in their relationships & i just don't want to bother them.& that person i like? i don't want to stress him.. or make him worry.. he just means too much to me, for me to ever see him like the way i did previously. i know you're gonna read this ==' & i just can't bear the thought of seeing you cry anymore.man, it's going to be one heck of a lonely week ahead :) i'm going to miss you a whole heck of a lot <3/sighs.. this is going to be tough.'♪♫; i don't want to talk about it,
it makes me wanna cry.
everytime i pour out my emotions,
i feel emptier inside.
i don't know how to play it like,
i'm not in love with you.
but i'll try ....
even though i do, still
miss you.
just like the air that i breathe,
i need you,
with me.
i'm not gonna lie.
& i can't imagine my life without you.
but i guess i will
survive.
i'm not gonna play myself everytime my cell rings,
checking for your name.
i promise that i'll never tell you how i feel,
when i know that you don't feel the same.
did you think that you could hurt me so,
i just gotta let you go.
everytime i find myself alone..
i miss you.
just like the air that i breathe,
i need you.
with me, i'm not gonna lie
& i can't, imagine my life without you
but i, suppose i will survive.
don't try to explain why your loves changed
boy you really broke my heart this time
i won't let it take away my pride
or who i am inside
boy i'm torn between everything
how could i feel nothing
i would've done anything
if it'd mean, i could make you love me
you're the one i need
but you still believe
we could never be.
Gabrielle - Survive (8)
you asked what song reminded me of you, that's the song.
especially this line,
'did you think that you could hurt me so,
i'd just have to let you go ~'
yup.
