insignificance, of my existance.♣
Friday, August 28, 2009 / 6:25 PM
Song(s) Of The Day :: 2NE1 - I Don't Care
Paramore - Misery Business
Elliott Yamin - Can't Keep On Loving You
Linkin' Park - Lying From You
Delta Goodrem - I Can't Break It To My Heart
Current Media :: Changing between Youtube ; 2NE1 - I Don't Care [english+korean lyrics] + 2NE1 - I Don't Care (make cover version (Y))
& Windows Media Centre ; Tv - Channel 7 Today Tonight
Current Mood(s) :: .. Negative. Aching pains ==' Insignificant. Self hate. Annoyed. Depressed. Disappointed. Confused. Lost. Out of place. Curious. Chest/heart aches.
Arahrahrah today, wasn't as good as the others but I got out of it alive, and I guess that's the main thing? Ne? The day started off fair well. LOL, we're so Asian. The boys & I. We got FREE folders from the ladies at Student Services. ROFL? Hahaha. Mm, yes.I started off the day by spending my Photography lesson with Steve and Samuel. Yes, those two (LL). We talked a little about planning our composition pictures for our Unit 2 work, turns out everyone is doing shadows T^T. I'm doing Reflections now (Y). Should be interesting ayes? Chyeah. We took a little walk outside to get some inspiration and ideas. It was a fun little walk, wasn't it x)? Came back inside quite soon after though hahaha, and started our planning. But I got sidetracked and started Photoshopping a picture I took on my birthday, of Samuel posing with his shoes. No, I did not ruin the picture, It was only from knee down. Thank God. Haha. It was a pretty nice little picture I made, if I say so myself hehes. But yeah, wasn't anything special, just a little advertising? Rofl. Then discussed some of my plans for my work with Mr. Dimitriou. This assignment, I must get at least a B in, or I will be very disappointed in myself. I seem pretty well motivated :]? Let's hope for the best (yn).Science was next. It's becoming one of my favourite subjects now, now that I have the right teacher. I'm able to learn & concentrate, and achieve the results I should be getting. As promised by Ms Papanicolous, she brought in the contraceptive kit and went through the contents in full detail. HAHAHAHA! She pulled out the dildo. :L Like, it was so funny hahaha. And when she tried to put a condom on it.Ms Paps; \struggling.Ms Paps; Mr. Smith! Would you like to he-..
Mr. Smith; No! :]]ROFLMFAO. And after she got the condom on, she asked the girls in the front and second row to touch it and feel the lube x)Ms Paps; Oh come on! Just touch it, you won't get soooo excited I guaranteee! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!
Us; What!? ROFLMFAO HAHAHA.Yes, she's quite an awesome teacher :) She's so funny! Hahaha. Then after she finished talking about condoms and put the dildo away, she was like, 'Oh! Now my hands are all sticky! =="'. HAHAHAHA yeahs xDWhat else was there today? Oh yes, of course! English. I actually attempted to do work this lesson, while we were in the library. I started off my film study text response for 'To Kill A Mockingbird' and asked Mr. Zerner about the themes involved in the movie. The old fart talked about the themes and scribbled all over the rest of my page for about 20-30 minutes? And after that I just totally slacked off.. I was drawing in my notebook x) But yeah.. was quite a neutral lesson. I spent the rest of the lesson talking to Gamen and later on, Sophie joined us. Hahaha, yeahs. Okay I guess.Lunch was fun! But my chest aches came back around about here.. I bought a Mango smoothie from the TYHA team again! This time, I witnessed it being made by Helen :) And gosh darn, I love mangoes now! I used to never like them that much, now I adore them :D But hm.. what did we do all lunch? Just did our random talk about really random things I guess Oo'' .. Oh yeah! The guys and porn T^T! Why has that been coming up so much lately? Tsk tsk =='. Ahahah yeah, the randomness is a joyful thing :) Oh.. but yeah there were a couple of idiots around. You know you're going to get hurt, not the mental/mind type of hurt, but the physical type of hurt, yet you still choose to provoke it's beginning. I don't know why, I hate seeing you hurt but that's all you ever seem to be getting yourself into.After lunch I had no lessons :).. I bludged and did the recycling hahas. But it was God damn fucking disgusting this time! T___T'' One of the plastic bottles I picked up was FULL of these little buggyish beetle earwig looking like things. \shudders. Disgusting. And one of the Up&Go bottles Jenna had, was filled with SOLID GLUGGY milk. Like .. urgh. =='. Mm, very, very disturbing the things we saw.Later on though, at lesson 7, Helen, Samuel and Andy came out to help me finish while Jenna, Krystal and Gamen went back to their lesson. This was more enjoyable :D I was tired from the previous lessons worth of work, so I stood there being the leader 8) & made Samuel pick up all the bottles and sort them, whilst Andy, Helen & I held the bags (Y). It was so funny watching Samuel xD Hahahaha. Yeah, they make everything enjoyable :) Oh HAHAHAHAHAAAA! When we went to put the bags in the garbage room, I attempted to pull out the key Krystal got stuck in the door. I failed, of course :) so I asked for Andy's assistance. Andy couldn't, so Samuel tried. They swapped roles and both tried, but neither succeeded. LOOOL! So Helen decided to lock the door anyway, just in case we couldn't get it out, so no one could get in. Then Andy suggested we jam the key in so far, no one could take it out and break into the school. ROFLMFAO! I don't know what Helen heard, but she lifted up her foot making us all question what she was about to do. And BAM! And the key was gone.. Well at least we thought it was LOL. She had broken it. Yup, half the key (the handle bit? And a little of the key, about 3mm? LOL) had fallen off, and the other half was stuck in the keyhole. BUWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. We all cracked up laughing and decided to go to Mr. Pettmans office to explain. He luckily let us off and didn't question much about how it happened, thank God :L! xD Yeah.. the bell went soon :)I RAN to Ellis Park, I have no idea why LOL. But I got there first :D Hehes. Yeahs, we sat there and waited for Helen and Samuel to come out. It was a fun wait I guess :) Iono why xD. Andy joined us too 8D! When they finally decided to drag their fat asses out, we headed off to Chinatown. It was a fun walk for some reason. A little music (8) & lots of laughter. Despite that, there were lots of times I remained silent.. Lots of thoughts running through my head (Y). At Chinatown we sat at Dumpling King like hobos. Like wtf? We didn't even buy anything LOL. Then we went to Nanna's bakery where I bought food :) & made Kenji eat the last one cause I couldn't be stuffed x]. Hehes. Ummms... Oh yeah! Jamjams + Helenmelon got told off for taking pictures with glasses they didn't own BUWAHAHAHA. xD. Mm, after that we went to foodcourt, where no one bought food lols. Walked to Helen's bus stop to farewell her and went straight back to foodcourt so Unkie Kenkie and Ha Yeon could buy some food HAHA. Yeahs, we chilled there for a while :) Chitchatting away~ I didn't join in much.. Though I'm fine just seeing the boys smiling. It's one of my favourite sights. Ahahahahas yeah x) Then we stood at Qubic talking for a while waiting for our BBT. YUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! Hahaha. We waited at our bus stop for like.. ages. I went to that store near our stop, it has really cute things in there! And this panda I really want .. :L. And I sat outside listening to the boys talk about the dumbest things. They were making a parody of Lord Of The Rings.. about a sperm entering an egg. I know right, what the eff? But oh wells, as long as they were happy ne? Hehe ^^ THE BUS FINALLY CAME AND STOPPED THEIR STUPID TALK! It was a nice bus ride.. I guess hahaha. Just a lot of random talk.. Looooool. The jASs fun, never ends! 8D Love you boys (LL).Ahahaha, today was pretty fun I guess. I saw it again, today. Yahuh. You know the normal routine, blahblah. Let's talk about the other shit that was on my mind yeah?I hate you. Like what the fuck? Honestly, sometimes I don't know who you are. You call yourself a friend, when you don't even fucking talk to me. I don't want to lose you, I'm too weak for that. But I don't think I want to stay in this so called friendship. You're telling me I've changed? Yeah I have. I know who I am, I know I could be better, but who honestly gives a shit? It's who I am now. I thought you'd be able to fucking deal with it. But I guess not. Who are you now? I don't even fucking know. You've completely changed. Like that time you did before, I was hurt then but I'm even more hurt now. You know I dislike sudden massive changes in people, so why do you keep doing it? Ffs. Who the hell are you?You're doing that thing again, you know? Where you push me away with your icyness but then you seem to regret it and pull me back closer. I don't mind, as long as I'm with you. But sometimes, it's just too much.Have you ever been let down? By someone you thought.. never would? I have been, so many times. I know it doesn't take me long to open up to someone. But none of those ever bother to stay and hear me out. They just decide I'm not worth it. It's beginning to make me think, maybe I'm really not worth it. Somewhere deep down, I know I am, but there's just no physical or mental proof to back it up anymore. Is there one person who never seems to be sick of me? Who knows what I am, has accepted it and stayed by my side? The only person who comes close to this, is the person I argue with quite a lot.Am I really worth going through all this pain? I don't think so.. if I were you I think I'd already given up by now. Lol.Ohhhhhh! Despite all this depressing chitchat, I managed to write a couple of things last night, during my boredom while everyone was playing HoN. Grr. Lolol.there's nothing wrong with feeling this way
as long as you're here, it'll be okay
& don't you worry, i'll never leave
cause believe it or not, i need you to breathe.
cause everything you say & do
tells me it's got to be you
a secret attraction
pure satisfaction
but with every touch you make
i'm about to break
there's no way i can keep up this act
so i guess it's time to farewell our pact
&it's you who has that smile
the one that makes my heart run miles
the one i wanna see every day
the one that makes all the pain go away
Lol, I don't know if they make sense :)! But whateverrrrrrrrrrr! (H) LOL.
I like the rain :) I missed it a lot during the past few days. I thought it'd left forever :L.
rain rain come again,
wash away all the pain..
This moment here, I don't feel as bad. I just wish I could rip out my eyes, I don't want you to see that hurt in my eyes. It might let out something that shouldn't be. Stupid eyes.
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Ohhhhhhhh! Today I also found some REALLY nice youtube songs. :L Well one really. It's the lyrics from the male cover version of 2NE1's 'I Don't Care'! It's not official of course, a rookie record. I guess the vocals could do with a little fine tuning? Other than that, great accomplishment ^^.
note; lyrics are all the way at the bottom of the info box hahahas.
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There's a blogger I've found recently, I simply love her blogs. Although some of them are fake, made up, They're so true in many more ways than one. They bring me a lot of varied emotions and also give me a lot of inspiration for my own thoughts. But I don't think they ever really show. I guess her blogs just give me a better perspective of some of the things I go through, a more experienced and almost professional opinion :)
Have a read! I'm sure there's something there for you :)
