nothing else could be so real ~♣
Friday, August 7, 2009 / 9:57 PM
i don't think i can depend on anyone anymore.
well.. not as much anyways.
just to save the disappointment, & the hurt. i think i've had enough for.. a while.
just expecting those people to be there for you when you need them, is a little too much. because.. they can't always be there for you. no matter who they are to you. face it, they have their own lives to live as well. and you do as well, so you might as well stop dragging around thinking about all that depressing shit & start living life to the fullest yeah? hmm.. i'll try.
getting used to being on my own. getting used to this feeling. getting used to depending on myself.
it's a lonely thought, of a lonely life. but yeah, that's how it's been recently.
i forgot when and who.. but a couple of friends today were discussing life after high school. talking about how we wouldn't be in contact anymore because we'd be so busy with studies. your social life would go kabooom!
&i realised that actually might be true. it's a big possibility. but thinking about us being like that just broke my heart. like, just like that? hmm.. i dread the afterschool life now.
do you have that someone you miss? that someone you miss as soon as they turn their back and take a step away from you. the moment they leave the room. hmm.. reminds me of lyrics hahaha;' it's cold. it's cold.
it's cold & broken.
it's cold in here without you..
i had to turn away
didn't wanna see you giving me the wave. '
lmfaos. yeah. i love Varsity, don't you :)? they're amazing. hahaha, i really do think i'm a pathetic little person. always relying on others.. gosh, it's time to grow upp!
then again, do you also have someone who makes you happy the instant you see them? that face that always seems to be smiling :) hehs. yeah.
mmms! i love that babyfaced littlefreaktard. it doesn't matter how i'm feeling; he'll make me feel better. & when he does do something wrong, he'll apoligise without actually having to say it! an apology without 'sorry'. hahs, his way is just so innocent & childish. who can't forgive him!? :L! despite what people say about him.. i know he's a great guy =) just hope those others could see that. how surprising i only met this young boy, this year? i barely see him, but we get along well ahahas. his name starts with an 'a' ;D! you think you're so good with your little raps and rhymes? Hah! well, you inspired this one >;D!
' talking to you, i can start off faking a smile,
knowing it'll be true, in a little while :) '
hehs. i dunno anymore people. sometimes i like being alone. sometimes i enjoy the constant chatter.
there was always somewhere i could just be
now it feels like that's been taken away from me..
lols. & i have to find a new place.. my new, very own sanctuary. i don't know where i'm going to find it :) but i'm not going to stop searching!
buwahahahas! i`ve just sent & received the corniest, cheesiest yet sweetest texts! it was fun though... having a friend you can just share these with & not be embarrassed by.. gosh! he's such an awesome friend :)
well, well, well, what a useless little rant this has been :). it's time to stop now!
