sometimes, you make me want to cut myself. & then jump into a hole, and stay there.♣
Friday, August 7, 2009 / 5:18 PM
Song(s) Of The Day :: Varsity Marathon today :)
VARSITY FANCLUB - LOVE SONG <333333333333>
Varsity Fanclub - What I Really Wanna Say
Varsity Fanclub - Used To Be Lonely
Varsity Fanclub - Maybe This Is Love
Varsity Fanclub - Vanished
Varsity Fanclub - You'll Be Okay
Varsity Fanclub - Right Back Where I Started
Jayk (of Varsity) - You
Varsity Fanclub - Why Not Me
Varsity Fanclub - Complicated Girl (Remix feat. Jax)
Varsity Fanclub - Let Her Go <333> (It all started with this song :))
Varsity Fanclub - All Of Me
Varsity Fanclub - Boy Meets Girl
Varsity Fanclub - Future Love !
Michelangelo (of Varsity) - Just Hold On To Me
Drew (of Varsity) - All I Want Is You
Drew (of Varsity) - Like I Always Do
Varsity Fanclub - Babysteps
Varsity Fanclub - Lost Then Found
Varsity Fanclub - Someone else
Current Media :: Windows Media Player - Music `Varsity Marathon ~ 8D
Current Mood(s) :: Singsong lala mood. Pretty damn tired. A little disappointed. A little upset. A little too alone. Quite a neutral mood.. Feel like running away somewhere. Really confused, lost & out of place. Reminscing. Really weird @__@ I feel heartbroken and I have no idea why. Late reaction? No.. I don't really know actually.. A little teary. And easily replaced. Lol.
Today, was a complete rollercoaster ride for me. It started off okay, I thought I missed the bus and caught it at the Ridley bus stop, for some reason hoping you'd be there =='', why do I do these things? Lol, the Blackfriars dude was a couple of minutes late. Just an observation. The bus was pretty empty.. A little too quiet.. Even though it was pretty packed after, it still felt empty? Oh, but when we caught the bus to school, I had to stand.. and I didn't lean on anything either! BEAT THAT HARVARD YOU WHORE, yeah(; . Hahaha..
Started the day off with Photography. Quite an alright lesson. It was really boring though.. I had to fake so many laughs ): I Photoshopped a little. Then decided to look for Puppy pictures. Gosh darn they were so cute! Stupid school's stupid filtering blocked it because of NUDITY AND PORNOGRAPHY. Ffs. Grr. But oh wells, I'll google image them later (Y). Uhhhs, then something really weird happened. Mr. Dimitriou was looking up Youtube videos.. Like.. Rap ones. Then theatre sports ones.. He looked really happy. Like literally >> :DDDD <<<. That was him. Ahaha, I had to fake all the laughing when watching those.. Or someone would've noticed I wasn't laughing like normal & then ask what's up =='. /sigh.. I don't like faking =/
Uhhh, science! It's so .. boring .. without Samuel .. =='. We just revised Genetics and got our new assignment. FUTURE KIDS! I'm going to do U-Know Yunho and Lee Hyori. Oh hot damn. Smexy baby right there. Hahas. Uhh, then we did more revision..
Recess.. we sat in the sun.. which wasn't even there. & it was so freaking gosh darn cold =='. I had to get out the blue hoodie and use it as a blanket.
English, we went to some information talk thing .. called 'Introduction for New Workers' or some shit. It was so, so, so, so, so boring. I almost fell asleep ==' Like, so many times. Gamen yawned quite a lot too. But there was this lady that sounded like Ms. Zocchi, every time she spoke I woke up cause I got scared. Lol. Yeah..
Lunch - We sat in the corridor undisturbed :) No one came to yell at us. Jamjams cameee!!! & my mood lightened a little :). I balanced a bottle on my head.. til Harvard knocked it over T.T grr. I don't like him, so mean. Haha, Andy and Gamen made a face with tomato sauce and Sharpie texta on an apple.. it had a '3' mouth! Hehs. It looked scary after a while.. like the halloween pumpkins.
After lunch, Jamjams, Andy Pandy, Gamen & I did the recycling. It was a little fun.. but it was so disgusting. I was emptying out a water bottle and when I was shaking it, it dripped all over me T.T And the boys were just standing there laughing. Gosh. hahaha, then yeah.. I dunno.
Instead of Maths, we had homegroup! So they could talk to us about PLP and shit.. It was an okay thing. I was really bored.. I was so tired of keeping up the happy act. Luckily the day was almost over.
The bell went for dismissal and Helen, Jamjams, Andy & I went to Chinatown~ I bought bubble tea and we stood there talking and just chilling for a bit, like we used to (Y). Hahah HIEN came! We talked to him for a bit :) & then just went to the bus stop.. Lols. Jason & his Gee wannabe's came. They kept looking at me in this weird way that creeped me out, & I've learnt enough Chinese to understand they were talking about me T.T I got hell scared. Called someone.. but that didn't help =='. /sigh. Umms, then the bus came, & so did Hien and his girlfriend! The bus ride I thought was going to be a boring one, turned out quite okayyy! I saw this blonde.. Asian dude get on and was about to diss him.. But guess who's face it was? ALAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN! Gosh, cute faces cheer me up anytime. Glad it was his n____n'' HAhahahaha! He's blonde noooooooooow! EWWWWWW! I texted him so much to pay him out (;. He looks like Simpsons wannabe :). Or Goku! AND ZOMFG LOL! He blended in with the yellow pole on the bus XD! Gosh that boy knows how to make me laugh ;D! Spent the bus ride texting him even though he was like 2m away. & called him :L. I told him he was a freaking cutie and he went all red! NAWWWW! Ahahaha, later when the bus was emptied, I moved so I could sit next to him :) He's a little tickle freak. Hahha. But he punched me T.t & ZOMFG HE TRIED TO SELL ME CONDOMS! 2 for $1, anyone? :L! Gosh. Uhhhs, hahah yeah. I love seeing Alan =) He's a little cutiepie tb little wannabe. :L
Ahaha.. today was.. alright I guess. I just hate faking these smiles and all the laughter =='. /sigh. And at times, I was thinking. I think, that you, want me, to leave. Yeah? It feels like it.. feels like you're trying to push me away. A friend said you're just being a jerk and playing with me.. I refuse to believe that. I will never believe that. I've had this happen before.. You act cold to me, and force me to turn away.. then at this point, you'd pull me back towards you. It hurt. &It's so cold now.. I wanted to show the both of you how it felt.. but I can't find it in me to put you through it all. What if you hate me, and leave me after? I wouldn't be able to live after that.. I'm glad I had some form of music to listen to today. My old mp3 player. Varsity beats. Keeps my mind off things while it lasts.
Anywhos, big list of lyrics today :) & extracts from the songs. I absolutely ADORE Varsity - Love Song! I can't make out all the lyrics though.. cause the song's in bad quality & no one's uploaded lyrics for it. =/
The first verse & chorus is absolutely to die for (: Wanna hear? OF COURSE YOU DO! I've been singing it all day ^^.
i woke up this morning with a song in my head,
and a picture i couldn't erase.
i sang all around the house, and the words that i sing
are the things that i couldn't say to your face
& every melody you hear is about you,
& every lyric couldn't live without you.
so i've decided to give this gift to.. to you,
this is your very first love song ♥
lovin' it to the effin' max :)!
Hmm, here's a long list of extracts now :), Name in the order I listed above ~
i say, i don't care.
but it makes me crazy, when you're not there.
i say, i don't need you next to me.
say i don't need your touch,
say you don't mean that much.
say this love don't mean a thing.
what i really say is you stay on my mind,
& i die every time that you're not around me..
what i really wanna show you is what's in my heart,
but i stop when i start, keep it locked inside me.
what i really do is just scream it out,
get the message through ~
what i really wanna say is i love you.
i used to be lonely til you saved me
i used to be lonely on my own
but now i know only you can show me
how to love
i used to be lonely ~
looking back it all made sense,
an unexpected twist of made sense
that led me straight to you
it was all meant to be
now i see
just can't get enough~
girl look at me, i wanna look into your eyes
i get this weird feeling inside
it's kinda crazy cause i ain't never had this kind of feeling in my life
and i can't even sleep sometims
wake up late at night with you on my mind
and i can't get you out no mattr how hard i try
cause, maybe this is love
maybe this is love, i feel it in your touch
i just can't get enough of you baby, wait a minute
i'm saying maybe this is love, there's something between us
i just can't get enough of you baby, wait a minute
i'm saying, maybe this is love ~
there's something about your eyes, your hair, your smile
you're driving me wild, girl, you're so beautiful ad you're all mine
i'm the luckiest man in the world and you're so picture perfect
you stole my heart girl, you're just so worth it
i can't get you out of my mind, no matter how hard i try
i'm reaching, i'm reaching for the love i lost tonight,
& i don't know why.
you're right here, you're right here but you seem so out of sight
it's messing with my mind
you used to freak with me
you once believed in me
but now i'm incomplete
thought we were meant to be..
where did you go? where did you go?
where did you go? .. you vanished
i'm wondering, something that you said would never die
has lost it's life
it's frightning, thinking how i opened up to you
but now it's turning too
we were the best of friends,
that's why this pain won't end.
and this is killing me..
thought we were meant to be ~
i thought i'd visit the past last night.
got out some photos and went back in time
if i had known what i do now, i wouldn't have let you go
but i didn't know you was right
i tried to tell you it's over, it's probably not
you got a hook, line and sinker, double tied a knot
why'd i have to go away, run away.
i'm stupid and scared, too afraid to show that i cared
now there's no way, to say, the feelings are coming back..
got me right back where i started
(skip Jayk - You)
should i stay? should i go?
should i ask? don't wanna know..
who`re you thinkin' bout, who`re you thinkin' bout..
shouldn't kiss, shouldn't tell.
shouldn't have happened with our farewell
what are you thinkin' bout, what are you thinkin' bout
but what is it that keeps me hanging on to every word you say
what is it that keeps me holding on, to you?
because you're stuck in my head like my favourite song
you put the scene on pause, it still plays on
it's chapter three
it's hard to breathe
the words are slowly fading..
without you here, i get nowhere
i ask, why not me?
could've been, could've had
how could you do that and not look back
(skip Varsity feat. Jax - Complicated Girl remix :))
holding my head in your hands,
you brushed a tear off my face..
one on one you confessed that this all you can take
i'm broken .. and tired
there ain't nothing left to say
you gave me no other chance
you just walked away
just let her go ~
it's too far in motion
just let her go ~
my heart can't gain control
it's too late..
it's too far..
you're leaving me behind
just take it all back?
all the kisses you gave me..
the tears that you left me with
i don't know how to react
on my own, by myself
how could you say goodbye?
i'm crying.. gave me no other chance
you just walked away
it's cold in here..
it's cold. it's cold.
it's cold and broken.
it's cold in here without you....
it's cold, it's cold.
and broken.
thought it could be you.
when you think of it
every little piece of it
is keeping me from turning blue
had to turn away..
didn't wanna see you giving me the wave..
i heard a sad song playing on the radio
bout a girl who loves him but she never really let it show
outside the rain keeps.. falling on my window
i'm crying inside, gotta see you tonight
i understand and if somebody broke your heart before..
but it wasn't me who left the pieces lying on the floor
but it's me who's out here in the rain knocking at your door
paying the price, for all of his lies
i'd write you a song but i can't find the words to say
to tell you what's on my mind
even a symphony can't say what you mean to me
so how can i .. how can i give you
all of me, when all i get is half of you
(skip Boy Meets Girl)
i put all others behind me, they don't live up
i know what i want, what i need
baby if they ask me, i would say
i don't even know your name
and if they ask me, does it change
you know it don't change a thing
cause there's something bout the way you love me
there's just something bout the way you know me
that i can't explain enough
there's just something bout our future love ~
the minute you pull up next to me
we standing there like destiny
when it feels like you're fighting just to breathe
that's when you know
the minute i pull up next to you
suddenly don't know what to do
everything inside you says that i'm the one ~
so if you feel like packing up and leaving
every time we have a disagreement
i'll take the blame it's my mistake
when you feel like giving up
feel like it's too much
feel like you had enough
you gotta hold on.. to me
just hold on.. to me
take my hand before you fall
promise i'll pull you up
you gotta hold on.. to me
just hold on.. to me
baby all i want is you, you, you, you, you!
baby you're all i want (;
i'd rather give you time instead of roses
see your face instead of cash
i'd rather give you love instead of clothing
is that too much to ask?
baby all i want is you, you, you, you, you!
okay i'm getting really tired..
so i'm going to sing later :)
miaociao for now.
