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Thursday, August 20, 2009 / 4:55 PM
Song(s) Of The Day :: Ryan Tedder - Gravity
Evan Rogers - Candles In The Rain
Varsity - Love Song
Aaron Carter - Let Go
Current Media :: Windows Media Player - Music
Current Mood(s) :: Confused. Annoyed. Alone. Depressed. Mad. Frustrated. Uncontrollable tears. Tired. Weak.
Today was quite a shit day, overall.Maths - I was .. so tired. Couldn't concentrate no matter how much I tried. ==' Fucking gay cunt sitting behind me too. Argh, and when I was leaving the class, smashed my fucking right thigh on the corner of the table.Photography. Gay.Recess. Gay.PE. Was okay. We watched Happy Gilmore (Y).Lunch. Alright. Circus thing in the gym, awesome.Japanese. Better than the rest of the day. Had a lot of fun (Y). Umm.. had a test. Talked to Helen about stuff... yeah.Why such a brief description of today JilLy? Why? I'll tell you why. I feel like fucking crap. Everything's so fucking pointless.-___________________________________________-There's a few career choices I've made. I wanted to be a lawyer, and a psychologist. Probably a Photographer (Y). I've thought about the future, I'm sure I can make it if I set my mind straight. Right? No it takes a little bit more than that, some encouragement from friends to help you believe in yourself a bit more. My research project for year 11, I wanted to do something on piano. Like, learn a piano piece or something and present it. No, I got told it'll take too long for me to learn that. Yeah. I ask someone for help because I don't understand something, and I get looked at like I'm so inferior. I suggest possible career choices, and get told I'm not smart enough.FOR FUCKS SAKES.Yeah you Danny Fucking Lee. What's wrong with you lately? Fucking think you're fucking top shit or something. T________T. You expect me to do SO much for you, I try to help just to hear you talk about me like I'm some dumb shit. Du ma. Okay, I know I'm not the smartest person there, but I know I can do things when I put my mind to it. Stop looking at me like you're so much more fucking superior. Truth be told, I think you're lower than dirt. I've tried to be nice to you, I tend to forgive you no matter what. And you still treat me like shit. Fuck you.Fucking hell. Is it that hard to get a little support?You too. You said never, so why now? What's with the fucking attitude lately? If you're going to just shut me out, then do that. Don't keep pulling me back. It's killing me. I'll leave if you want, stay if you want. Just make up your mind and choose one or the other. Yeah! Woo! Tears! More more more!
The days are getting warmer.
But you're getting colder.
Chyeah.
Oh, I won't be at school tomorrow. Going to some Red Cross thing (Y). Enjoy your day without me. May it be the most peaceful, happy day of your life.
... I didn't really want to go in the beginning. I thought I'd be leaving you. But you're just pushing me away. I'm going to miss you a heck of a lot (Y). In fact, I miss you so much, right now. Even though I saw you just under an hour ago. Why? Because you're not the same person I met in the beginning, and grew to know. Instead of that happy, warm, caring you, with that smile I know and love, you're some cold, heartless jerk.
You're becoming just like the rest.
I promise myself, not to get close to anyone. Getting close to someone, loving them, as a friend, or more, just gives them knowledge of all your weaknesses. It gives them the ultimate power to break you.
That's happened one too many times now. I've had enough.
