can i trust in my own heart?♣
Tuesday, September 8, 2009 / 6:07 PM
Song(s) Of The Day :: Lion King - We Are One
Aladdin - A Whole New World
Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest
Yellowcard - Everywhere
Linkin Park - Numb
Craig David - Insomnia
Current Media :: GOMplayer - Hana Kimi =]
Current Mood(s) :: Quite happy Oo? But very worried. A little heartbroken. Very confused. Lost. Disappointed? ... Uneasy.
Today started off very gay. I was still upset from the night before and ended up letting out a few tears when I was at school. -___-! But that hug made me better :), kept me together. Arigatou ne? :] Mms. Decided to go out after and pretend I was okay, so that maybe I'd believe it for myself.Japanese first up. It was fun I guess =].. Sorry guys I faked a lot of smiles and laughs in the beginning, but in the end it was all 1OO% happy ^^. Lols, we did some listening comprehension, which I didn't do because I was writing out lyrics, because I am cool like that (H). And yeah, we just talked about really stupid things for the rest of the lesson lmaos.Then I had English. Fug sakes -__-! I hate Zerner. You and your stupid moods and stupid, annoying A&R ad voice. Fuck you =='.Mm, recess? Dunno lols. Can't remember. Don't think it was bad though Oo. Ahahas, then I had PE! OMG, we went out to play in the new playground fitness thingo ^O^! Hehes, then went back in to play some indoor soccer.. I actually did something :D! Proud of myself hehs. But after that we went out to play on the playground some more! Omg, you can actually get tired from playing on that :L! But I did have a little work out :D .. and I also found out I can't lift my own weight lols. Fat ==' LOL, but I went spastic on that playground xD! I also finished climbing that whole rock climbing wall thing :D ^_______^Lunchies! Was heaps fun =] Iono why, and what we did though. Mainly just running around being an idiot? But yes fun. I like food =].. I mean I REALLY like my food. ;D Mm =]
When lunch ended, I went to sign out =] & met up with Carolyn there. Then we went to MANSFIELD! & asked for work experience. Lols, stupid new principal, too poshy for us =='. Gosh. So we're gonna wait for her to call us back =]. Lols. After walking around for a bit we went to Arndale, and then went our separate ways. I went to catch the bus, which was awfully awkward since I was alone and didn't have my music. Ahaha.. it was such a long bus trip =/.. but soon enough got to town and got off at China Town. Went to buy some Qubic and sat there for a bit thinking about things.
After Kitty, Kenji and Gamen arrived we went to find a Work Experience place for Kenji & I. :L. Studio 2000 doesn't offer work experience! ): .. and yeah. Ahaha walked around town for a bit and then went to catch the bus. On the way to the bus stop saw KEVIN! :D .. and PENGUin! Who surprised me with a 'meow meow' ^^. Ngaaawss ^^ Hehehs. And got a hug from him ^O^! Later on the bus.. talked to kitty for a while & got off at Arndale with him & Gamen. LOL ANJUUU!!! OMGOMGOMGOMG WE WENT ON THE MERRY-GO-ROUND THINGO! Because we're cool like that ;)! HAHAHA! :D .. Anjuu wouldn't join us ): Lols. Then uhhs.. after Gamen left we went to the bus stops and waited for 254X. ROFL ANJUUU IS SUCHA LOSER! ROFLROFL! ajs. :L You wish buddy. Ahaha, I can't stop laughing at him xD
We ditched him later and went home =] On the bus I saw ALANN! ^^. Great to see him smiling again ne? =].. after Kitty got off I went to sit with him.. and he showed me something devastating. Dude, I swear, you fucking do that to yourself again and I will smash you =='. But yeahs, I got my hugs from him ^^ and then crossed the road with Jasmine, who gave me another hug ! =D Heh ^O^ I feel loved for once.
Mhmms. Today went from down to up. I'm sorry, I don't know if I can believe what you say now. I'm sick and tired of seeing something in a friend, and letting them prove to me I'm a stupid idiot for it. I don't like being disappointed. And now look, I'm too scared to be in friend in fear of being hurt all over again. I do want to be your friend though, it might take me a while to get my mind straight. Whether you wait or not, is your choice. Ne?
.. I told you. It'll be hard for you. Why don't you believe me? Just forget about how I'll feel, and do the things you wish to do.
But I'm a girl. Girls don't mean what they say right? They'd never want you to leave or abandon them. Girls are stupid. Boys are stupid. Humans are worse. I don't understand how humans can be so inhumane.
I don't bring good news.. or happy happenings to anyone. I shouldn't get close to anyone. For their own good. ..so why do I keep doing it? Because I'm one of the cruelest of humans.
