everything has crashed&burned.♣
Thursday, September 10, 2009 / 7:03 PM
Song(s) Of The Day :: Mya - Case Of The Ex
Yellowcard - Everywhere
Aladdin - A Whole New World
Lion King - We Are One
Chingy - One Call Away
Cascada Feat. Dons - Everytime We Touch (Hip Hop Remix)
Current Media :: GOMplayer - Hana Kimi
&& Windows Media Player - Music
Current Mood(s) :: Trying to stay positive. Trying to keep it all in. Close to giving up. It's all just too much. It hurts, it aches. Lost. Confused. Dying. Crying. Aches.
Today was a very unproductive day desuyo. But in the morning, it looked like it was going to be a really nice day! & I guess it was ne? The sun (#)! But.. I really miss those rainy days that comforted me. ): ..Mm, Maths? No. ' Editing ' ? Yes. With? Andy! :D .. My maths class turned out to be in there anyways. :L. But I don't know what we did.. just random talking I guess? It was fun :) OH! Speed typing test.. My typing speed has gone downhill ): ! Used to be around 65-86.. now it's like in the 50's. Psshtt.. Ahahas but yeah, that's pretty much all we did.Kitty & I then went to go get back our Photography folders in lesson 3! Ahaha I did hell shit T^T! .. ==' .. Ngaws. But yeah.. then uhh sat on the computers for a bit more and it was time for recess. Gee, time sure flies by :)PE Theory? Fuck that. Spent the double in the computer room with Andy Pandy ^^. It was fun. I feel like I'm really close with Andy all over again ^^. We talked about almost everything, & people. We see things the same way & that's really important for me to know that I'm not alone like that. Ahahas yeah, music & watching him SoF2. ROFL, it's like an official AHS game now. Andy is such a happy camper. Hinthint*Lunch was spent in the gym where I got hit by a fucking hoop. It's bruised now! ):Japanese? Gomen ne, iie. What did we do? .. Oh yeahs, they uploaded the film.. me & Andy were reading stuff for a bit.. & Kenji was copying stuff from my harddrive (Y). Fairly short lesson I guess? Was okay.Oh oh afterschool! We walked to town to get free Boost ^O^! I guess that's one reason to name your child with a common name ne? But I'd prefer a child with a really unique name. I want one of my boys to be called Rain ^^! How awesome would that be? Chyeah ;D! And then I want a kid to be called Sunny! Hehs ^^. Rain.. will be the one that's there to wash away all the pain.. and Sunny will cheer you up with his/her bright light & cheerfulness! Ngaww ^^ Ehehes.. ANYWAYS! LOL. Umm yeah, went to City Cross, got a WATERMELON CRUSH ^O^! Went to Maccas, while Nate, Harvey & Gamen went to get a Mango Tango @ David Jones :L! Yumm maccas ^O^! Thenn, we sat at the bench eating while Nate bought a Lemon Crush.. \shudder. ROFLMFAO! Then he got like.. Steve's hoodie & glasses and Kenji's bag.. gave himself a combover and went to get another free Boost. ROFLMFAOO AHAHAHHA WHATTA LOSER! Then yeah.. went to look at shoes ^^! DAMNN! I want more shoes :D ! I want those smexy ones ^^. I shall attempt to save up :)After that we decided it was time to go home, I saw Kevin & PENGU on the way there! ^^ Hehes. Ummm.. yeah bus stops was fun =P! PAINFUL BUT FUN! LOLS. Jenna recently feels a desire to smack me or Gamens boobies or ass. It hurts. It stings. I'm bruised T^T! Aigoo! LOLS YEAH! AND on the bus we had another 6 way convo xD AHAHAS, yeah & I bought new shorts & Arndale =] and sat with Kitty for a bit. OH MY GAWD! HE IS SO CUTE! I GAVE HIM PUPPY/KITTY EARS & NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWS! \hugs. Cutest thing ever! ^^ HEHEHES. Mms..I almost died again today. I wish I was blind. :L. I wish I would cry so much that it blurs out my vision like it does when I'm at home alone. I wish it would hurt so much that it would just disappear. I wish I didn't love you this much.. I wish I wasn't so weak. I don't want to hurt you.. I hate myself for the way I treat you sometimes, & the way I constantly need you. I hate myself. I hate me, myself & I, for everything. & I apoligise to you sincerely, for everything I've ever put you through.. and the biggest mistake at all, meeting you. I mean, I'm glad I did, and I'm glad I know you, you're wonderful and absolutely amazing in every way! I'm just sorry that, I had to meet you and make you this way.. I'm horrible.I don't know who I am, or who I'm supposed to be, or who I used to be, or who I'm going to be. I don't expect you all to be there for me the whole way, it's too much to ask. Why do I hate being alone? Why do I need someone to be around me constantly? I'm better off alone, & everyone is better off not being with me.Mms.. I don't know what else to say but sorry. Even though I hate those who say it too much, I guess I hate myself. Which I do.. :L..just smile & everything will be okay.
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yeah i'm smiling :)
but baby, inside i'm dying.
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just because i smile,
doesnt mean i'm okay.
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why does everyone tell me to 'just smile',
they say it like it's supposed to make everything better.
