rolling dice
now i'm jumping on the questions again, losing all my senses again - i'm a rolling dice and i don't think twice, i gave my heart away
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Thursday, October 1, 2009 / 2:09 PM

Lmao .. Joey just said something funny on Friends. That seems to be the highlight of my day .. these days. Watching others being happy, seems to always be my best past times. Wow? That is actually quite .. sad. Haha, guess that's just how I am.

I'm .. so .. tired .. of everyone .. leaving .. I don't understand .. Why you'd give me all this hope even after I've given you warnings and you've told me all these lies of which you'd never give up on me. Why? .. Do you find some sort of pleasure with breaking me down like this? That's just .. cruel of you. I've been broken down one too many times, and it almost always ends up in me crawling back to you .. where I once felt safe and wanted. I'm weak .. I'm too tired to try anymore. I've lost almost all motivation. I've said that more than once.. I'm pathetic. Really.

You know what? I'm feeling .. really replaced. Seems like .. everything I used to be or mean to anyone, has been taken over by someone else. And right after being replaced, I've just been abandoned in some crammy corner of your mind til someone mentions my name and you suddenly remember me. Just to pull me out, all torn and broken. Then you realise, you've been fine without me and don't need me anymore, and you just throw me out. Like the broken toy I am. And .. no one can fix me now.

That's what I've been feeling for so long now. ... I don't think anyone can make a difference, you've all done that before. Don't deny it, you know you have.

Yeah .. all down again. -_______________________________-

Like someone you can just lie to, over and over and over again knowing that each and every time I'll come crawling back to you. Because I am pathetic and useless and weak.