Before we get started on my day, let me just tell you how disgusted I am. I mean, humans are humans. Not only do they hurt and kill eachother, they torture other species as well. In today's episode of RSPCA Animal Rescue I've seen one story that has just shocked me --' Some idiot has cut off a poor little puppy's ears. Who the hell would do that? Although the strong little ball of fur seemed fine, it died a few weeks later. Ugh. A few months ago or so? I also saw another story that really aggrevated me. A small, adorable kitten had been bashed and beaten to the point where its pelvis had shattered. That seems bad enough yeah? The jerk had dumped the poor thing into a plastic bag and thrown it into a garbage bin. I know right, what the fuck --' I am disgusted by the behaviour of certain humans and am ashamed to call myself one.

Ahh, off that topic now, sorry to start off in such a negative way. Anywhos, today wasn't so great so to speak either. I was feeling a little to miserable and down to enjoy what was around me. The morning was just pure gay, I don't know why it was this morning that the feeling chose to come back, but it did. I couldn't look at you .. so I ran away. I talked to Helen and a few tears forced themselves out.. :/ I don't know what the hell they want from me anymore, their judging eyes I just can't take. It's all too much. Am I alone in this fight? I guess so.

First lesson was Japanese, and I was still feeling a bit iffy.. so I just had my head on the table listening to music the whole time. Writing out lyrics.. turning away whenever I felt more tears needed to be let out. Sooner or later I started cheering up and changed my attitude with everything. Shared a few tunes with Helen and yes, things were a little bit better.

English somehow improved my attitude towards everything for some reason. Most probably because I spent some of the lesson with my monkey :) hahaha we just stood there talking and at times we were both in total silence. But I enjoyed his company nonetheless. Even though he's one of those people that can piss the shiet out of me, he's also one of those people who can cheer me up just like that.

Mm, as for the double lesson inbetween I had PE and again we played Archery. That went heaps well, I worked on my aiming when shooting an arrow and I hit the board at least almost every time now. It was sort've queer though, I know I like the sun but that was a bit too much so it was getting a little hot. Do you know how scary it is when the teacher is demonstrating something for you when doing Archery? He has the arrow loaded and like he's just pointed it around. I got so scared .___.

Lunch, was loud. Didn't like it for 'reasons' but overall found it okay.

Last lesson of the day, yay! Maths. I finally decided to do some work in lesson and started on the Trigonometry chapters. Did like a few pages of work so I am proud :) But then me and Jenna left early to go to our 'away volleyball game'. Hehes, we just went outside and sat there talking about the most random things hahaha. Once she left, I went to kitty's science class to wait for his dismissal and yes. That pretty much ended off my school hours.

Afterschool, we went to town so Gamen and I could go window shopping. And if you're someone like kitty; no, window shopping does not mean you are shopping for windows. LOL! Anywhos, yeah. Harvard and I were in Cotton On looking for a new polo shirt for him. Then after we went to Jetty Surf to look at bikini's and such. I want preferably something red, white or black that isn't too 'frilly' or patterned. I may settle for a few, and buy some boardies that will follow suit. Once again, preferably grey, red, white or black. Yeah I have a thing for those colours. But yeah, didn't find anything that caught my eye so we went around to a few other places looking. Later on we met up with Maddie and kitty & I grabbed some yummy Boost! :) Met up with the others after and just walked around til Gamen had to go home. But before that we went to buy birthday cards for a certain someone. Here, I went down again. They were looking at 'dirty' birthday cards while I walked around looking for ones with nice pictures or poetic sayings. There were quite a few on love and friendship that I adored, and showed that someone I related them to. But, his attention seemed to be diverted elsewhere so I just gave up. After we bought the cards, we headed to the bus stop and there I saw Dungbroo! Hahaha chat to him for a bit til my bus came and bussed it home with kitty dear. It was heaps nice talking to Dung, I barely get to talk to him a lot these days and all since SOMEONE quit Viet school ): .. but turns out he'll be coming to visit next week, since I won't be there next week hehe. But, DON'T WORRY BRO! Who cares about the rest, I will hang out with you disabled friend of mine. Lol, kidding, love you :D

My day ended better than it had started. There are just so many sights I wish to avoid now, because like I once flashed on my PM, 'Just because I said I'm over you, doesn't mean I'm ready.' I'm still in the healing process, and I would appreciate if people like you fucking outsiders who don't understand shit would just keep out of my way. I'm having a hard enough time as is and I don't need you motherfucking backstabbing assholes bitching about me. I honestly would like to punch a few of you in the face when you give me those judgemental eyes. Fuck you all --'

Life is gay. I want to die.

I don't understand this one person. She drives me up the wall with her actions. Mothereffer, be a little more original and find your own way of doing things. Just because I unwilling got attention from a certain someone doing what I do, doesn't mean that it should and would work for you. Cause you're fucking pissing me off.

Fucking kill me already. I can't stand them anymore, their talk and judgements shouldn't affect me at all I know, but the thing is, they are. And I'm fucking sick of it all. I want to take a week off school or some shiet and hang out with others who don't really give a krap about what's going on atm. All they need to know is that I'm there with them, I'm a friend to stick with and I'm here to have fun. Thank God I know people like them.

What is this? Am I expected to immediately stay away from you or some shiet? Well fuck you cause I can't. If you want me to fucking change forcefully, give me some God damn motherfucking time. Don't expect me to adjust to it straight away because we all know that ain't happening.

Let me be selfish for a sec kay? I can't fucking share 'that person' sometimes cause I motherfucking need them as well. I don't want to share them at all. I want them all to myself and that's just the way I feel. Fuck you.

But I can't, I know that okay? I FUCKING KNOW THAT. Back off already and just let me go at my own pace. People these days.

♪♫; Everybody wanna know how I got a chick like you,
& they can't understand why you're loving me too.
But all it takes is just one look in our eyes,
& I realise what we got is the truth.

Cause you put it down, in the evening.
& you stay around til the morning.
They just mad that I found somebody who holds me down,
Shawty, I got so much love for you.

I'll be loving you all my life,
I'll be loving you all the time.
I'll be givng you all I got,
Girl, I promise I'll never stop,
I'll be loving you, oh I will.
Forever, I'll be loving you.

Everywhere I go, people asking me why,
I givem the same answer every time.
Don't take a genius to see what we got,
He gives me good lovin', he keeps his girl lookin' fly.

Cause you put it down in the evening,