rolling dice

now i'm jumping on the questions again, losing all my senses again - i'm a rolling dice and i don't think twice, i gave my heart away

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Crybaby.♣

Monday, October 5, 2009 / 12:27 PM

I was .. heartbroken and in tears last night, like the crybaby I am. I had a complete meltdown and wasn't allowed to show it. I had to brighten up with every word I said over MSN, or those three would've gotten worried ..

=3 .. Every word of kindness from you seemed to hurt. Because .. they shouldn't be anymore. They give me this kind of hope that's telling me you're always there for me, you'll always be the one. When you're clearly not. Oh.. I really wish you were. In fact .. you could actually be, but right now you're not because you can't be. I really do miss you .. nothing will ever change that.

You .. you .. you .. please, don't do it again. Please .. You can do whatever the hell you want, anything but that. I don't want you to do certain things though, cause I'm so scared of you getting hurt like this again, it's selfish of me. But really, the things I've heard have made me .. hate that person now, I don't want you to suffer like this again. It's so unfair on you. You really do deserve the best. Don't you dare talk about death, don't you dare. I need you, I really do mean that. You're the only one who can cheer me up after all else has failed. You are my sunshine after the rain falls. Yeah, I mean that. You're not killing me, you're keeping me alive you silly girl. You're the first ever make me feel needed in their lives, and I really appreciate that :) The thought of you not being there anymore, really broke my heart. Not seeing you again? Chyeah, you can't escape me even if you wanted to. I'll hunt you down and hug you and I'll never let go baby >:]

Things really are fucked up at the moment, I agree. But we're not going back to the past as you suggested. It won't turn out differently, it'll just happen differently and end in the same result. It may even hurt more, going through it all again. Let's go to the future, and start from there. We'll start together kays :)?

The key to letting go is accepting the fact that things have changed & won't ever be the same again.

There's this song that really says how I'm feeling.Yeah, you guessed right, it's one of those breakup songs. It's a nice one though, sad lyrics, slowjam&RnB. What more could you want? This one really made me cry. Haha, yeah it's dedicated to you. <3

4Tune - Miss You

Miss you
When I close my eyes
That's when you're near
I kiss you
But I know that I'm dreaming
Girl, it's not fair
And I can't help but cry every night
When I'm weak and you're not by my side

Girl I just wanna hold you in my arms
Think of you each day now we're apart
And I just want things back the way they were
Find a way back to your heart

Without you
I don't feel the same
Since you went away
I need you
And I just want you back
Here with me
And I can't help but cry every night
WheN I'm weak and you're not by my side

And I just wanna hold you in my arms
Think of you each day now we're apart
And I just want things back the way they were
Find a way back to your heart

And I just wanna hold you in my arms
Think of you each day now we're apart
And I just want things back the way they were
Find a way back to your heart ..

.. I miss you ..