& i just want things back the way they were.♣
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 / 6:14 PM
Song(s) Of The Day :: 4Tune - Miss You ♥
New Kids On The Block feat Ne Yo - Single
Current Media :: GOMplayer - The Big Bang Theory
Current Mood(s) :: Down. Confused. Replaced. Annoyed. Upset. Lost. Tired.
Woah, today was such a long day yo. Felt pretty darn tired --' went to sleep at like fucking 2am? It was raining so hard it actually scared me. So yeah, bad night. But eventually woke up and caught the bus to school, you know, normal daily morning routine. Omfg, except there was a slug today where we were sitting. Seriously, that's just fucking disgusting.
Had French first up this morning, was alright I guess. We continued doing the vocab for that murder mystery thingy and then answered some questions after watching it one more time. There's like a French hentai scene LMAO! Then we revised the imperfect future tense a bit and yeahs, slacked off big time. We had another 10 minutes to go and Madame LeDoledec let us sleep :D
In Japanese we didn't do much either. I had a little thinking to do for some reason .. and I can't remember what we talked about for the rest of the lesson, but that's pretty much what happened. Mr Rehorek calls us the Rebel Corner :) We're awesome. LOL! Helen was reading the Cosmo magazine again.
Recess, we had to go outside and sit in the darn cold. Hmm, I remember going off to buy a drink and that's about all hahas. But we had English after! And English is going to be better from now on! We're acting out a scene from Romeo and Juliet! Gamen, Nathan and I are doing The Wedding Scene where Romeo and Juliet sneak off secretly and get married against their parents wishes, but of course their parents don't know that. I'm going to enjoy this component of work, except for the fact I have to maybe kiss Nathan T^T .. It'll be fun cause we get to dress up and all! I get to wear a formal looking dress :) Awesome! I'm playing Juliet :D
At lunch we went fair hyper. Krystal, Maddie, Chris and Harvard were at it again hahahas. I was just in and out of their little playfighting. I was enjoying watching it and joining in on the laughter. But I dunno, still feel like an outsider to them? Oohhh! We also had a deodarant fight :D I have white stains on my jumper now --' Gee thanks babe.
What other way better to end off the day than with a double lesson of Science :)? I felt smart cause I was up to date with all the work and knowledge gained even though I was away for a couple of lessons. We just copied down a few notes on the Periodic Table and yeahs, she also wanted to show us something exploding! I forgot what it was, but it made pink fire! :D Then yeah lols, just finished off whatever work we had for the day.
Afterschool I went to town to buy some things with a certain friend so yeahs, off we went. It was nice :) .. although they seemed as though they didn't want to be there at all. But at other times, it seemed like you did .. Lol I dunno. I didn't find what I orginally planned to get ): but I guess I got what I could anyways. Good enough ayes? Hahahaha. Let's hope we can maybe find what we need tomorrow (yn). So yeah, after we bought the stuff we went to get some food/drink. KFC MASHIES! :D Hahahas. Sat there and talked a little which was nice. Then we were both being indecisive after so we just went home. Caught the bus and got a ride home from my sister once we got off at Arndale.
Today.. I don't know what's wrong with me really. Maybe it's the weather? Makes me just wanna sit around and think, not really do much. But I am being really moody .. =/ Mms ..
I don't know if I have anything to rant about today. I guess the only thing is .. I'm unsure of everything between us right now? It seems like you're only being here for my sake .. and you don't really want to be here at all. It's painful to think about.
In the morning while getting driven to the bus stop, I heard on the radio about a couple that had broken up after a tough period. The girl had caught her boy cheating on her, and they agreed to try and make it work again. But there was just a huge lack of trust she had for him, even if she wanted to it was so hard. It hurt the both of them so they just separated. And .. I guess it's not the same situation but is that's what's with us? You really don't trust me anymore? Do you find it hard to try to trust and believe me? ..
... I don't want to go back to depression mode again, for once I really don't.
Oh.. two of my closest friends are going up for year 11 female prefect in 2010 and like .. I can't choose between the two of them. I can't base my vote on who I'm closer to, because truth is both relationships are quite balanced. I can't base my vote on who I think will do better because I know both will go very far and do a great job. I can't choose between the two of them at all. I know this goes for a few other people. I know the vote is anonymous but the guilt of not choosing one or the other will eat me up. What the hell do I do? T^T
And there's also a friend going through another possible breakup situation.. it's happened before and I was in the same position. It's just stupid really, he's been through this before.. I've been through this before and I don't want it to end the same way. It's not that I don't love you, I just don't want to put you through anymore hurt .. because I can't believe you when you say you won't hurt me again, cause I know you've done it before. And .. you're obviously very hurt by the way she's treating you and maybe you do know that you deserve better than this. I don't want you ever taking another look at her again for the risk of you going through all this hurt once more is just too much. She's stupid and foolish and I hate her guts, you know that well.
I want to run away again, I don't want any of this at all. I want to focus on study but I can't. I can't do anything right.
