&when she forgets you, don't you dare remember me.♣
Monday, October 19, 2009 / 5:23 PM
Song(s) Of The Day :: Varsity - Used To Be Lonely
Claude Kelly - Forever You and Forever Gone
Utada Hikaru - Taking My Money Back
Utada Hikaru - Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence
Varsity - All Of Me
Varsity - Picture Perfect
Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
Claude Kelly - Runnin Back
4tune - Miss You
Current Media :: Winamp(L)
Current Mood(s) :: Upset. Down. Depressed. Neglected. Replaced. Unwanted & no longer needed. Lost. Out of place. Confused. Alone. Lonely. Bored. Annoyed. Moody. Tired.
Sorry, yeah, I've been to lazy to update this thing lately.. and only go on when I have something to let out. I just couldn't be bothered in the past few days to sit there and type and I kinda didn't want to either. I couldn't be bothered cause I had a mountain of homework to do and the things I would've written would've hurt someone I hold close to my heart. Sort've been keeping things to myself, which contradicts the reason why I first started this blog. But yeahs, let's just skip the past few days? If you really wanna know though ..
- Thursday: Cold. Cold. Cold. Gay. Gay. Gay. Hated. Kinda had fun, but things brought me down even more. So yeahs.
- Friday: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRYSTAL TANG (LLLL)! Good day I guess. Had fun, took quite a few piccies. Had a few bleh moments .. overall, average day. Got pretty tired and unhappy after, early night.
- Saturday: Maths; Ms Kat had a sore throat so didn't talk much, did work for first half of lesson and just slacked off after. Viet; Got pretty pissed off, then talked about fashion and style, had a test and yeahs. Kitty; had fun :)
- Sunday: Homework for most of the day, and then watched Big Bang Theory and Gossip Girl. Had PHO for dinner and yeah, alright day. I was really moody in the end though .. and couldn't sleep til late. Seriously, couldn't sleep til morning. I was scared.
And yeah, that was pretty much my past few days. The norm I guess, a gigantic rollercoaster ride with more downs than ups.
And today started off with the normal routine, shower & off to the bus stop. Bus ride was kinda quiet.. and when we got to town we had decided to wait for Vuong! Who didn't end up coming cause he got off the stop before us. Instead we were joined by Krystal Tang and Harvard Ye and we all walked to school together. It was a nice start to the morning I guess :) Hmm.. but I guess I kinda zoned out at times thinking about useless things.
First lesson today was Science and we just went through our chemistry booklet. Carolyn and I sat and just caught up with eachother over the weekend. And it's nice I guess, we may not be the closest of friends like we used to be, but we're still able to just sit around and talk about anything and everything with eachother. I think my minds slowing down or something, I can't process things as fast as I used to be able to. How gay. I'm already slow enough --'
We had an assembly during homegroup for the awards to those people who achieved well in their end of term report cards, I find those assemblies quite a waste of time actually. Oh oh but at the end there was something about Peer Leaders! I really want to do that :) Let's hope I'll be able to ne? (yn)
PE was next and we couldn't be bothered to get changed.. we couldn't use the gym anyways since the year 9's were still in there for their Round Table talk. Jess & I wanted to walk the short cross country course, but Mr Dounas wouldn't let us because he was scared there may be homeless people out there hahaha. So we just went into the weights room and sat on the bikes talking about this and that .. girl talk ya know? Gossip x) It's nice to talk to someone like Jess :)
At recess I remember getting uber duber hungry and that's about it.
After recess, Samuel, Vuong and I had French. Madame LeDoledec wasn't here, I assume she's sick or tired from the weekend? Hrmm, wonder what she did!? LOL! Anyways, we had Mr. Leach as a relief and oh my Buddha he's creepy. He asked me and Vuong where we were from, and kept talking about our families and that and Viet Nam. Then he started going on about something like.. 'Here I kneel speaking on behalf of the United States, I apoligise for invading your country and causing a havoc' Lol, me and Vuong were just like .. okay *nods*. Seriously though, what the hell? Talks a little too much and yeah, it was kinda funny how he didn't even bother to ask Samuel! HAHAHAHA! The rest of the lesson, instead of doing work we sat around just bitching about whatever's going on recently and about a few certain cocky people. Ahuhs, cause that's the sort of thing we do :)
Lunch was pretty fun. Helen and Samuel had a smoothie drinking contest and she ended up spitting it all over Steve's pants. Looked like spoof yo! And yeah.. I guess I was mucking around with other people to try and divert me attention from a little something somewhere.
Heeeeheeeeeeee! Photography! I guess these next few weeks til the end of the term will be relaxed yet intense. We do muck around quite a lot but I have to keep in mind I need to finish all 5 tutorials and my Depth Of Field poster! Helen and Gamen came in to print the Australian Studies work. Samuel was looking at tutorials and Kitty and I headed off so he could go relieve himself and after we could both get some more credit for internet use. When I came back, I helped Helen with her printing problems and yeah after a while they left. I spent a bit looking at a few tutorials I could use, and I dunno, I'm somewhat inspired and motivated to do work again? Then Google Image'd a bit and just got really really lazy. Sat there watching Kitty work and all.
School was finally, finally over and we headed off to Hungry Jacks :) I saw Jasmine and Julie there! Hehes, sat around with the boys a little eating. I have a new love :) chips dipped in chocolate sundae. ROFL! It's really nice and I do recommend you try it someday ^^ ahahas. Yeah sat around being idiots for a bit and then decided to catch the bus. Eek, at Chinatown bus stop, some old man standing outside the window where Kitty&I were sitting .. was smiling at us really creepishly! I was scared ): Ahaha yeah I got really tired so I just slept the rest of the way while the boys chatted about whatever.. but I wasn't really sleeping. I just rested? and I was thinking about a lot of crap ..
Yeah, I guess today was okay, I just got really moody at times. I don't know why but it seems a bit harder to look at you, while you're looking at her. There's a look in your eyes I've never seen before, not towards me anyways. I realised I can stare at you for ages without you even knowing, because you can look everywhere but not once will you turn my way. That's kind of saddening to me.
Hahaha, it may be true that you don't need me anymore. Face it, despite what you force yourself to say and believe, you know you actually don't. No, not anymore. A long time ago though, those words may have been true but the times are changing and over time you've learnt to live without me. Okay, even if you don't neccessarily need me anymore, maybe you want me to be a part of your life? But quite recently, I guess .. you've proved that you don't even want me either. I don't know what to think of us anymore. I know I still love, need and want you in my life, that will never change. But if you'd like to leave then.. at any time please do so? Just don't .. fill my mind up with empty promises, hopes and dreams that will never be able to come true.
I'm still so scared.
