rolling dice

&i won`t give a damn... if only I knew how.♣

Wednesday, November 18, 2009 / 6:17 PM

Mmkay, so to start off I apologise to anyone who reads my blog for not posting in the past few days. I did have quite a few things to write about, but as soon as I got online and clicked open the page.. I lost all inspiration and motivation. And at other times I just got really lazy, or had a bit too much homework to get started on. But I'll try and remember what my highlights were of the past.. woah almost week. It's been ages O__O'' .. my English must be fair dodgey by now xD

Haha, so on Thursday.. things were fair gay I think. Wasn't in the best mood, but I survived the day and afterschool I went to town with the boys and girls. What'd we do first? Went to go eat of course, because we're fat like that. Yumm, Oportos :) pahaha then we girls went to Copycat and tried on a few dresses. We also tried the same dress, each in a different colour.. and I had red of course. I actually like that dress xD Might consider something like that for my next formal occasion. Haha, then a few of us left and the rest went to make some boys try on a few shirts. Oh dayumms, you don't know how sexy my cat looked in his shirt :) PAHA, Helen also asked Samuel to try on the shirt that I chose for kitty, cause the one Helen chose for him was yucky. And yeah, he did look decent in my eyes. I took a photo as a memory for Helen.. and now she's forcin him to buy more shirts ROFL.
*Helen looks at Photo*
Helen; OMFG HE'S SO HOT ^O^! ..
*turns around, Samuel's staring*
Helen; I mean um ... eww .. \shifty.
Us; ROFLMFAOOOOOOOOO.
But yeah, boys.. you guys should wear shirts like this more often. You all look good in them :) hahaha and then we bussed back to Arndale and I bought a really cute pair of heels. I wear them almost everywhere now :D

On Friday.. I don't really remember much of the morning.. but after recess I had my Romeo and Juliet performance. I would say we went okay, but compared to the other groups we were really shit. Hahaha, oh wells.. we went well by our standards :) Someone stole my roses too ... how queer. Umm, I don't remember doing much after that.. but afterschool I went to Chinatown with the little brother and the best friend. ROFL, Deon was pretending to be all these game characters and made Kitty guess them. Deon is such an embarassing character, but one you're not ashamed to be around. He's lovely to spend time with :) he really is one of the best little brothers out there, jealous? Hahaha, too bad he isn't my real little brother, I'd love him to be ^^ Mm, then we went to town to grab a bite and I changed into my casual clothes. After was yet another trip to the movies with the cat and we watched The Time Travellers Wife. It is a good movie :) I do recommend you watch it. Then it was late so we caught the bus home.

Saturday rofls, I didn't go to school today because mummy let me stay home. I didn't mind :D I was supposed to do homework but ended up doing nothing... but Monsters Inc was on tv that night! Hahaha, I didn't do much but spend my day on Facebook rofl. Sad I know ): Ahh the night was fair gay.

Ahh Sunday however was a much better day. I don't want to list the details here, just because I don't. But how could I ever forget this day. Thanks for the giggly smile filled day sir meowsalot.♥

Monday finally came and I had no lessons this day. Today was the first day of my two day training session for 2010 peer leader. It was actually surprising how much I learnt that day. We started off with a relaxation exercise that almost made me fall asleep.. then we went outside and broke into groups with people we wouldn't normally talk to and play a few of Mr Gurr's weirdass games. Hahaha, how could I ever forget them? My group was called the Spring Chickens.. because we were the youngest people there? LMAO. Mm after that a little overview of the next few days and a little introduction. After recess we started getting into things, Ms VanD'Ellis gave us a session on how to be a good listener and conflict resolution. You don't know the amount of knowledge I gained from this. All of us were a little overwhelmed too, we all thought we were pretty good listeners already.. but having the steps laid out in front of us just showed us how much we had to improve on. Conflict resolution also taught us about the procedures taken when trying to resolve a matter. It really does help you a lot. We also had to do a role playing thing and my group was simply motherfreaking hilarious. Mikayla, Amber and Gabbie taking turns being the mediators and fighters. It was like watching a highschool edition of Dr Phil ROFLMFAO. I loved this, there was so much laughter yet so much knowledge gained :) The funniest thing? In Harvards group.. he was the hot guy two best friends were fighting over. Mfking hilarious ROFL. Mm, then it was lunch :D and I brought some food out for the cat :) hehe. After lunch we had a guest speaker, ex student Thuy Danh come in and talk to us about her experiences. She did give us a lot of tips and ideas :D hahaha and then we were told about our homework task. Write a speech about your first day and the skills you learnt and how they're gonna help you next year. Man I hate public speaking :S ... mm. When school finished I went to Arndale with the cat so I could buy a few things.. and that's always fun spending time with him :) I went home and spent like a couple hours on my speech cause I kept procrastinating xD

The second day started off pretty much the same.. but with us comparing our speechers and such. Listening to the others speeches, so much inspiration came to me.. but I shook it all off having a nervous moment. You see.. I'm terrible at public speaking. My voice tends to become all shaky and wobbly and my hands become uncontrollable. But turns out I went quite fine :) to me and others that was.. I really like the structure of my speech and I guess it may be one of the most sucessful pieces of writing I've ever written. Even though it wasn't even half a page hahahas. After the speeches were done we did a little reflection piece on how we think we did and yeahs. After recess, the teachers took turns explaining the school policies to us and we began the Anti Harassment training. We went through shitloads of things and they were all uber meaningful. There are so many things people do that make them just total bitches --' Grr. Lol.. and same thing happened at lunch :) Came back and went through some case scenarios we had to analyse. Oh, and we also found out the groups we're gonna be working with next year. Turns out I'm gonna be with Jessie, Jenna, Matthew and Yvonne. That's a good group to me :D hehe. I hope it's gonna be fun xD .. I mean I know it is :) We planned out our programme for the first session and I think it should go well haha. When school was over I went to Arndale and spent a good hour or two there with the cat. Not doing much.. food shopping at first and then we just sat there talking and such. (Y).

Today, I wasn't gonna go to school.. but I didn't know how I'd survive at home, so I went anyways. The morning was so quiet, and I had so much on my mind.. I just wanted to run away again.

The first lesson was French and that was spent just chitchatting to Vuong and Samuel. It was pretty fun I guess :) and the next single lesson was Japanese. I spent that lesson talking to Helen about clothes and style.. hehe. At recess I saw Kevin :D .. and I gave him a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig hug because I missed him for the past week ): Hahaha and after recess I had English. The first half an hour was spent by listening to Mr Zerner yack on about bullcrap. Next, we went on with our Romeo and Juliet essays. This lesson just flew by ): .. haha. At lunch I had a big catch up with Helen on life and it's happenings. There's just so much shit --' .. and a certain someone isn't really helping by constantly trying to divert all attention on their stupid little selves. Fuck sakes, no one really cares and the world never has and probably never will fucking revolve around you fucking dick. Lol, yeah. In Science, I felt so dumb. I had a massive headache and felt so sick. But sooner or later I caught up with the class and learnt a shitload rofls.
Afterschool I went with Helen, Samuel, Kitty and Tumi to Dumpling King to eat, my shout :) It was really nice ^^ .. and I haven't been out to eat with a close group of friends in a while. Yes, my dumpling and bubble tea craving is gone now. But I still want bloody yumcha, custard tarts and pasta. Let's go sometime yo :) Mm, then I found something that made me feel quite betrayed ... but I was silly for thinking like that. On the bus while the boys were playing cards, I sat there just listening to music and thinking.

My days are just empty now. The smiles all seemed to be forced and part of an act.. because inside I'm really just falling apart. I don't really know what's going on with anything anymore.. and things are just so screwed up. Especially my schooling, I'm falling behind and I can't seem to do anything about it. What's the point? I'm useless anyways.

In one of the training sessions we got told.. to never judge. I don't see how that's possible.. how can you tell someone not to judge? We all do, it's human. I guess all you should tell them to do is not to stick with their judgements and not make any further accusations without hearing the story in full detail and understanding how the other felt. Only then can you make a judgement and decide how you feel.. and as I would say to everyone when they're angry at the other, 'How would you feel?' And don't expect someone to do something that you, yourself cannot. That's just unfair of you to ask for so much.

I'm giving you my all, there isn't a thing you could name right now that I wouldn't do if it would make you happy. I'll try my best anyways, whatever it takes to make you smile. So please, don't be afraid to show me your perspective of things, what you want and what you need. I'll do whatever you want.. because you're worth it baby. I think I know what you're gonna say when you read this.. but it's my choice with what I wanna do right? And that thing I wanna do is make you happy :) So are you gonna help me? Lol. Please don't say you aren't worth all this, because in my eyes you are. You're worth the world and all it's beauty. You simply are the most amazing person I've never met, who's lived up to almost every word you've said and let me know I'm always cared about.. because when the world's turned their back, there'll always be you. You are so much more than I deserve, but now that I have you.. there's no way I'm letting you go. That is, unless of course what you want, and.. in that case I guess I'll have to. But I'll always be there for you, whenever you need .. ♥

Things will turn out for the best, in the end. We'll make it through together, right? Hells yeah. Just knowing you're there with me gives me all the strength I need to face every day and live it to the fullest with a smile on my face.

Mm, well I think it's about time I get off this page, since I've written quite a lot .. and go do some study. There's only a week and a half left of year 10 to go. Yippeeeeee!