rolling dice

now i'm jumping on the questions again, losing all my senses again - i'm a rolling dice and i don't think twice, i gave my heart away

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Don't know who my real friends are, anymore.♣

Wednesday, December 2, 2009 / 11:50 PM

You could say I absolutely hate you right now. Yeah, I despise you. I don't understand this at all. You're my friend, not just a friend. A pretty God damn close one. One that I love, and respect. But sometimes you drive me up the wall, you drive me nuts. I've known you for how long now? Wow, a fair while.. and you still don't know me.
You only see me for what others see me as. What they see isn't me, and you should know that. I put up an act for those I don't want to get to know, it's my own defence system. And you tend to fall for that. Shows how much you know me. Why are you always trying to change my views and opinions. Why do you want me to change so badly? Because it's better for my future? Let it happen in the future then asshole.
I'm only young.. and despite what you've been through and what you've felt, don't try to change the experience for me. Whether it be good or bad, don't try to change it for me. I want to take in every moment of it and feel it for myself. I don't want to learn from your bloody mistakes. Where's the fun in that?
The thing that gets to me the most? Someone that's known me for two weeks, someone that I'm not as close to.. I don't converse to them about the things I do with you.. yet they still know me so much better than you do. They understand me a heck of a lot more. Even if they don't, they've accepted that it's just the way I am. They don't lecture me and try to change me. They just accept it, and love me. Why can't you do the same? Because you're not them, I know. But you're my '' close friend '' .. so why can't you just accept me?
Okay let's make it easier for us both. Why don't you just see me as a hopeless case and move on already. That would make life easier for the both of us.
Because I'm arrogant and stubborn, I'm rebellious and hate being told what to do. If you can't see that, and continue to try and change me.. I'm sorry but I don't think we can be friends. Even if you're wanting me to change for the better, I'm not going to do it.