Hello sleep deprivation.♣
Saturday, April 3, 2010 / 3:09 AM
Don't you just hate that time when you're trying to fall asleep, and every thought big and small comes rushing to your mind. Competing for attention and at times, you just break down and cry your sad self to sleep.
For someone like me who gets paranoid and petrified watching horror, yet finding themselves watching one at every chance.. It's pretty darn gay. I've been sleeping with my blanket over my head and my toys around me due to the fear and paranoia of being watched. It's damn, freaking, creepy. Then there are all these faces that just seem to pop up in my mind of characters such as a clown, or Jigsaw that fucker, or that guy from Halloween. Fuck. Yeah, I guess I'm gonna have an even harder time falling asleep tonight.
Then there's all those regrets that have been hovering around in yur mind, or have been stuffed in some little corner just waiting for a chance to come to your attention. You realise, how much shit has been going on and how unfair it is. How unfair it is for you because no one seems to care or notice.
A friend of mine said that she didn't dare think about life being unfair for her, because she thinks of all those homeless people and realise how much better off she is than them. That she should be grateful.
Although that's true.. sometimes it's healthy to be selfish and think about yourself. Yes, those homeless people may seem deprived of a materialistic lifestyle like the most of us, but have you realised a majority of them can still smile brighter than we do? They may not own much, but they're happy with life itself. Sure things could be better, but right now they aren't. Just hold your chin up and you'll get through somehow. :)
Haha, back to those thoughts. I had a moment to think about friends. The ones I'm able to see everyday, see once a week, once a month or once a year. Then there are those who I don't get to see anymore.. even though we were once so close. But there's kinda one friend in particular I really do miss. I miss being able to hang out when we get the chance and just be idiots. Laugh at their stupid, random laughs and their cheesy smile. It's fair damn gay. They were there when I was at one of my downest moods, and even though we weren't close they managed to just make it all go away. Fuck dude, I miss you.
