This post has no structure whatsoever.♣
Sunday, August 1, 2010 / 3:29 PM
I get the feeling that my blog readers, if there are any that is, are confused as to why there have been no blogs leading up to the event of last week. And I apologise, but truth is.. I really didn't want to talk about it unless you were a good friend that I believed I owed an explanation. Whether it was right or wrong, whether you decided to judge me or not. And I did that, thankfully, all of you guys supported me with my decision. (L)
So, where to start? A couple of months ago a mistake was made by yours truly. If you know what it is, then yeah.. it was that. And although the both of us had tried to move on that mistake haunted him. From then on things were great, but they could have been better.
Arguments started out of nowhere and they were never really sorted out either. It was always more of "I'm tired of fighting, let's just stop." which I admit, wasn't the best thing to do but if it meant smiling again, it would do. Things were always left broken and never patched up. Mistake #2.
Basically, neither of us could be happy for long because something would just tick us off again. It could be anything. Neither of us could just be ourselves and sincerely be happy for long. It didn't help much that family weren't as accepting either.
This seems like the worst, but it turned out that I also had a change of heart. Yeah, I know. It sounds horrible but that's what happened. You know when you meet someone new and you guys just 'click' like that? Mm, and it just so happened that he was that type of guy I had always been looking for too.
And that's when the final decision was made. Because I believe we both deserve a chance at true happiness. And he deserved someone better, that will never hurt him the way I foolishly did. Throw whatever you like at me, meaningless words, harmful objects.. whatever. It's done now. Nothing will change the past.
Call me selfish, but I didn't like the feeling of being so tied down. So restrained from doing the things I love and being with the people I call my friends. I wasn't ever able to do anything because I had always thought for him.
We're still good friends though. We're still there to somehow paint a smile on each other's faces here and there, although there are more moments when we both shed a tear being reminded of something.
Whether this was a mistake or not, I'm glad we both have the friends we do to support us through whatever, whenever. It's moments like these when you find out who your real friends are, and it surprised me that some of these friends I had known for only a few weeks.
